Have you been feeling better during the pandemic?

A World in Crisis

As I write this, the pandemic has been taking over the world. Schools are closed. Non-essential businesses have been closed and some are just starting to open. We’ve been told for months to stay home to stay safe and minimize “non-essential” contact with others. Many of us who can are working from home. Even as things are starting to reopen, the pandemic continues and uncertainty remains.

Given these circumstances, one of the things I’ve been surprised to hear is just how “okay” many people are feeling. In fact, a lot of people are telling me they’ve been feeling even better than they were before the pandemic. (Now if this doesn’t sound like you, don’t worry! It makes perfect sense that you may be struggling right now. This post is not meant to minimize your experience.)

So, what’s up with that?

A relief from daily pressures

A common thread seems to be a sense of relief from the pressures of their pre-C19 lives. Extracurricular activities are mostly cancelled (or being held online, resulting in shorter activities without painful commutes and kids screaming the car or siblings complaining that they don’t want to have to go). Virtual school is generally shorter than in-person school, with fewer requirements and little to no pressure for grades. Even for those working from home, many people are finding their schedules much lighter with an understanding that they are likely to be less busy or productive than usual.

Other things that seem to be helping are an increased focus on relationships in the absence of a focus on achievement. It’s actually been pretty nice to have more family time, video gatherings with friends, and sometimes even creating new connections with people you didn’t interact with before. Taking this time for self-care, like, exercising, working on personal growth, learning new skills, or practicing lost hobbies are all on the upswing. There is also this sense of going through this together as a community, even working as a community to achieve a common goal by all doing our part. All these things seem to be the bright spot in all of this.

If this sounds like you, I’m truly happy for you. I also want to challenge you to find ways to bring these changes into your life once life returns to “normal,” and not just see them as the result of forces beyond your control. It can be easy to feel better when the source of the problem is gone. When you’re faced with the inevitable pressures of everyday life again (in-person schooling, extra-curriculars, grades, work demands, etc.), how will you maintain your newfound sense of peace?

an opportunity for lasting change

This is an opportunity to create lasting changes in your mental health, but it will take work to maintain these gains. Without thought and effort put into this now, it is likely your old patterns will return when we all come out of this.

One way to create lasting change is to look for ways to cut back on daily pressures. Yes, this one will be easier said than done, and there are some things you won’t be able to cut out that you may wish you could. But, are there things you’ve discovered you can live without, or cut back on, that may actually make you feel better? Or are there changes in how you’re spending your time or what you’re focusing on as important that you can find ways to maintain?

If this involves other people, you will also want to communicate with them and make some commitments together with those people. For instance, are you doing weekly Zoom calls with old friends? Talk to them about committing to keep these up. Are you ending your days at a certain time to cook as a family, or go on bike rides? Work with your significant other to build a future schedule that includes these things. You need to be purposeful to make these changes last.

shifting perspectives

It’s also important to check for shifts in perspective. Sometimes a better emotional state can lead to clearer thinking. To do this, think about a situation that would have been upsetting for you in the past and write down all of the thoughts you may have been having at that time (or even just write down upsetting thoughts you know you have when you’re feeling anxious or upset), and see how true they feel now. If you no longer believe these thoughts, great! What do you believe now? Write that down! Post it somewhere, say it out loud, record yourself saying it, role-play talking back to those thoughts with someone you trust…any or all of these things will help solidify your new mindset and prepare you for facing the old thoughts when they try to creep back in (and they will—you just have to be prepared). If the thoughts still feel true, this could be an opportunity to work through new ways of thinking now, before you find yourself back in that situation again.

You may be able to take these steps on your own. But, if you are struggling to come up with new thoughts, or would like some guidance on how to move through this process quickly and effectively, now might be a great opportunity to work with a therapist on how to shift your perspective to prepare for when you find yourself in that situation or mindset again. I am working on putting these exact plans in place for myself and my family. These are things I have been doing in many of my sessions recently.

So whether things are going well for you or not right now, I am here to help you on your journey!

For information on anxiety treatment, contact me.